Today I did something I had been dreading for weeks.
I was really tempted to avoid it completely. I made up excuses in my head: My cat is sitting on the supplies I’ll need and I don’t want to wake her up. Something good is on TV. I’m out of town. I don’t feel well. That last one was totally true. But would avoiding this really make me feel better? No.
So I braced myself. I took some deep breaths. I did it.
And it sucked just as much as I thought it would.
And I felt like crap after. Just like I thought I would.
But I did it. And that’s what matters.
As a spoonie, I pride myself on perseverance. Spoonies put up with a lot more than the average person: Our lives are unpredictable, because our symptoms are unpredictable. We spend more time in pharmacies and doctors’ offices than we do at our friends’ homes. We work and travel and simply exist, even when our own immune systems are attacking us and our bodies feel like they’re falling apart.
Thinking of this, I pushed myself to do what I was dreading. And I did it
And then I celebrated with pizza. Hooray for small victories!